♞ shittin on the opposition

catrente: HAHA, THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A BROTHER PICTURE TO...

Sun, 12 May 2013 04:26:02 -0400

HAHA, THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A BROTHER PICTURE TO THIS DAVESPRITE ONE, BUT DIDN’T WORK OUT SO WHATEVER…………….. More symbolic bullshit tho, eyyyyyyy. :U

Please, please view high-res!!!!!!!!

D4V3 1 DONT KNOW WH4T UR4NUS 1S BUT 4PP4R3NTLY YOU SM3LL L1K3 1T!!

Sun, 12 May 2013 04:21:00 -0400

DAVE: goddammit terezi

DAVE: lets take this from a common sense approach ok

DAVE: how can you say i smell like uranus when you dont even know how it smells…?

Keep shaking your head, Dave. That is the only way to make the situation practical in your own mind.

Dare you to come up with some weird flavor and tell Terezi she smells like it

Sun, 12 May 2013 04:14:00 -0400

Although you probably gave yourself too much credit at times, you understood that you were not the dullest bulb in the pack. With that being said, your brain drew a complete blank. How would you go about doing this?

DAVE: how can a flavor be considered ‘weird’ anonymous

DAVE: would you consider a combination between peanut butter basil and mayonnaise to be strange enough

dare you to throw a stick in front of Jade and see if she'll fetch it

Sun, 12 May 2013 03:57:00 -0400

…and then the situation gets even more complicated. While you are completely down for committing to this dare out of the sheer irony, you realize that it could also backfire terribly if mishandled. You ponder for a moment before giving a definitive response.

DAVE: sure thing

DAVE: but if she ends up getting offended you have my word that im gunning for your ass

I dare you to give Jade a big kiss

Sun, 12 May 2013 03:52:00 -0400

DAVE: done

Normally, he would ignore messages of this nature. Not because he was afraid or felt as though he was above them, simply because he didn’t seem to care. But this was an opportunity to show off his womanizing skills and prove a point to himself, once and for all that he did - indeed - have the ‘juice’.

WHATS YOUR HEADCANON HEIGHT FOR DAVE?

Sun, 12 May 2013 03:36:00 -0400

Currently?

Somewhere between 5’6” - 5’8”.

I doubt he’d be much taller, though I do believe when he grows up he’ll have a tall and lanky build like his brother.

BOXERS OR BRIEFS?

Sun, 12 May 2013 03:30:00 -0400

You’re not used to answering messages often, so it should come as no surprise that you would end up getting a few suspect questions. However, that doesn’t stop you from pondering upon the relevancy of each and every notice.

DAVE: are shades an option

DAVE: if not then what would i be receiving in return if i answer this extremely private matter in public

DAVE: would detailing my intimate apparel warrant me a gift or would i just be providing ways for you to continue to fantasize about me

DAVE: you sick fuck

Dare you to touch the juggalo's facepaint

Sun, 12 May 2013 03:21:00 -0400

Sorry, but this cool kid doesn’t have time to be bothered with the twisted clown and his egregious bullshit.

1S TH1S 3V3N 4 D4R3?

Sun, 12 May 2013 03:15:38 -0400

Probably not! But you don’t even care!

TEREZI: H3Y D4V3
TEREZI: SOM3 GR3Y HORNL3SS F4C3 TOLD M3 TO K1SS YOU
TEREZI: SO ST4Y ST1LL

And so, if he obliges, you carefully find his face with your hands and slowly lean closer. If you could see and if he weren’t wearing shades you can be sure all of the romantic sparks would be flying everywhere just by looking into his cherry filled eyes. Not that you can’t smell his cherry filled eyes, but his shades are even blocking that! hmph

Anyways, you finally bring your lips closer and closer to his—well you think you’re bringing them closer to his for all you know that’s his ear—but right before they make contact, you lick him. Hopefully on the face, preferably not in the ear. And then, of course, you start laughing

TEREZI: H3H3H3H3
TEREZI: YOU R34LLY DO T4ST3 D3L1C1OUS D4V3!!

Here have a consolation hug.

> Dave: Stare.

DAVE: yo tz

DAVE: wait they asked you to do what—

DAVE: ………………………..

The sudden gesture throws you off of your fortress of swagger for a few moments as you react by…not reacting at all. Your eyes are literally fixated on the grey, trollian girl in front of you. Through your shades, you make eye contact briefly before being caught off guard by the small dribble of saliva dripping from your lip. At this moment in time, you’re not sure if it’s yours or hers—yet you do not realize that it is literally hanging by a thread. Good going, cool kid!

Still, you keep up your amazing front by literally saying nothing at all. It was more than obvious that you weren’t used to this kind of behavior, no matter how many times you reassured John and Bro that you knew exactly how to handle yourself in situations like these. When put to the test, a stiff, tensed atmosphere overtook you instead. Both shoulders raised as well as the intensity in your eyes (as if she could see them in return).

Yep, you’re a regular Frank Sinatra in his heyday right about now. A true lady-killing aristocrat, with the expensive-ass tailor-made suits and all. As you proceed to wipe your lip with your sleeve, you bumble about in a lowered voice.

DAVE: uhhhh….

DAVE: i…dont really know what else to say but….

DAVE: thanks

DAVE: you… didnt taste all that bad either

…smooth, Mr. Strider. Real smooth.

the young witch shuffled close to the knight nonchalantly before taking a deep whiff of the boy's shoulder. "You smell like bacon."

Sun, 12 May 2013 02:56:00 -0400

As soon as she sniffed the boy’s shoulder, Dave immediately whipped his head around to see her in action, though there was nothing he could do about it.

“First off - why the hell are you sniffing me and secondly - what in the name of all that is righteous would compel you to say something as stupid as that?”

YOU'VE GOT TO ACT NOW OR THIS ALL GOES TO HELL.

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 22:01:00 -0400

bl1ndbutnots1ghtl3ss:

regisickle:

> Be Karkat Vantas.

You don’t have time to waste; you are now Karkat Vantas. You also are dropping all timeline-centric qualifiers for simplicity’s sake.

> Karkat: Get everyone into the goddamn shelter.

You are dragging a large, slippery tarpaulin into the half-open doorway of an abandoned warehouse that shudders in the cold under its heavy plating of corrugated sheets of aluminum. You’d cut your thumb earlier on your apartment key as you scrambled to get in and map out a plan that doesn’t end with everyone turned to great steaming piles of lightning-burnt shit.

Thunder rumbles above you as you finally manage to hoist the material into the building, where you’ve also tossed everything you could carry from your apartment, regardless of whether it was yours or not: pillows, bedsheets, blankets, a disassembled computer, plastic black trash bags, the bottles of water in the apartment’s fridge that you haven’t drunk because they might have been poisoned -

Yeah, whatever, like whatever’s in those can be worse than the acid rain hissing all around you outside like the goddamn Devil’s piss!

You emerge from under the doorway into the street and yell yourself hoarse, calling out to whoever’s in plausible earshot - you can’t see jack through the fog that’s been winding its ways through the cracks between the buildings at alarming speed. The wind blows the hood of your jacket off your head and you can feel your face getting pelted by hard and heavy drops of water.

ANYONE WHO CAN HEAR ME, FOLLOW MY VOICE AND GET INTO THIS GODDAMN WAREHOUSE BUILDING!

WE’VE GOT CLEAN WATER AND BLANKETS AND SOME OTHER USELESS SHIT TO GO WITH THE USEFUL CRAP!!

IF YOU’VE GOT FOOD OR INTEL, YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASSES OVER HERE STAT OR I SWEAR TO GOD YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO BLAME ME WHEN WE ALL FUCKING TAKE LEAPING SWAN DIVES OFF THE PROVERBIAL CLIFF OF LIFE!

You squint through the hazy mist and walls of rain, looking for signs that someone - anyone - has heard you. It makes you wonder if you should start just traipsing through the streets like some sort of rainstorm ghost and picking up random people - after all, you’re not doing all this shit just so you can be some sort of saint and save lives.

No, you’re building up your team. You’re gonna lead these poor fuckheads to the detonator and find your way out of this hellhole if it’s the last thing you do.

> Terezi: Get soaked by nasty smelling rain.

TEREZI: UHH
TEREZI: D4V3

You stop walking for a moment and just stand there, the horrible rain never ceasing the continual drenching of you and your companion as sirens start screeching in the distance. Between the obnoxious whirring of said sirens, the loud and strong gusts of wind that never seem to stop and the occasional crash and boom of thunder and lightning that sounds way too close for comfort, you’re not even sure if your friend heard you.

TEREZI: D4V3!!

You try again.

TEREZI: D4V3 1 TH1NK W3 4R3 LOST!!!

Yep. The two of you managed to get completely lost outside during the biggest storm any of you have ever known—save the storms of meteors you both survived multiple times, but those were different.

To be completely fair though, you both had known where you were, before the rain got harder and smog started clouding both his sight and your sense of smell. You both had just been heading over to the edge of Sector oo4 to try and cover up your work-in-progress chalk masterpiece to protect it from the rain! Neither of you knew the storm would be this bad, and at this point you’d have to cut out the entire sidewalk and bring it inside to save your poor drawing! Not that that is even relevant anymore. You’re quite sure that both of you agree that the more important matter at hand is getting out of this rain and figuring out the extent of the situation.

Besides the sirens, you can hear bits and pieces of an announcement, and someone else whose yelling, but you can’t make out what either says at all. Hell, you can only tell they’re different people because of the different tones of their voice; one sounded calm, but magnified by speakers, the other just really loud and angry—

wait.

It couldn’t be.

> Terezi: smirk and grab Dave’s arm

TEREZI: DO YOU H34R TH4T 4NGRY P3RSON SHOUT1NG??

> Dave: Linger off somewhere.

DAVE: bloody fucking hell

DAVE: do you hear that noise in the distance

DAVE: ……………….

DAVE: terezi?

Finding somewhere that suited your fancy on this mini-adventure with Terezi, it takes you a few moments to realize that you had completely separated from your partner in the midst of a totally menacing, totally asian storm. Yes, you had fully grasped the concept of weather and the unpredictability that mother nature possessed, but never did you actually envision yourself to be a part of anything remotely like the scene laid out before you. Fog clouded your vision with far more potency than your signature shades and the rain—ACIDIC RAIN, nonetheless—began to pour with malicious intent. Whatever was brewing, the idea was clear as day: time to get the fuck out of there.

You hesitate for a moment, listening out with both ears in tune to the ravenous winds, trying to catch anything that remotely sounds as though it beckoned out your name. You fail at hearing anything along those lines.

Using your nifty CELL PHONE, your decide that now would probably be a good time to mass text anyone you knew who’s luck was as unfortunate as you and your trollian girlfri—I mean, buddy. A few names immediately came to mind—MEENAH PEIXES, who literally appeared and disappeared without a trace, KARKAT VANTAS who—despite being a perennial asshole, had partnered with you in the past and last but not least, JADE HARLEY, another who had reunited with you quite some time ago.

Running with a speed that could rival Speedy Gonzalez in his heyday, you type nonsensical nothingness in an effort to best convey your current situation.

TG: attention to all i repeat attention to all

TG: were currently in the middle of a codename 405 ‘get the fuck out of dodge’ storm

TG: if you are currently in hive city then chances are you probably are spazzing the hell out and panicking in a perpetual state of fear and anxiety

TG: i dont blame you

…and with that, you cease sending any more decipherable text messages without stating just where in the world you’re at. Good going, Mr. Strider! Aside from the obviously dull moment stated above, you finally hear a familiar voice. Listening intently, you realize that it’s calling out to you.

TEREZI: D4V3!!

TEREZI: D4V3 1 TH1NK W3 4R3 LOST!!!

Before you know it, you’re grabbed by the arm as yet another recognizable sound called out in your general area, except this sound was decidedly unpleasant and hoarse in it’s screech. Neanderthal-ish in attitude and egotistical in tone, you knew exactly who the hell it was within the first few moments. Turning to Terezi slowly, she poses quite the obvious question.

TEREZI: DO YOU H34R TH4T 4NGRY P3RSON SHOUT1NG??

You ball up your fists dramatically as the foul-stenched rain continues to pound upon the both of you like a pair of congas. Adjusting your bad-ass glasses, your red eyes lock in with your partnered troll before beginning to walk with her in the direction of the noise.

DAVE: oh yeah

DAVE: i dont have to guess what the source of that unholy racket is any longer

DAVE: lets go catch up

> Dave: Stride.

Besides the obvious pun detailed in the title, you and your partner make like the wind in the noise’s direction. Before long, you all had found yourself in a different sector altogether—Sector 3, to be exact. As you scout out the area for an instant, a silhouetted male stood in the fog. Hailstorm brought in an insatiable, unbearable chill that propelled the both of you toward the building behind the shadow against your better judgment, which seemed to be open for anyone trying to avoid the storm. Taking a few steps forward, you realize that the shadowed being is who you expected all along. Gray skin, shark-like teeth, frizzed hair and that signature stand-offish persona in tact, it was no doubt that the cretin before you was none other than Karkat Vantas.

Without further hesitation, you break from Terezi to toss a blow to the Troll’s stomach. A dissatisfied expression forms across your face as you comment haphazardly, shaking your fist from whatever the impact might have been.

DAVE: thats for not keeping in contact after the zombie scenario

DAVE: dickwad

spacedrunk: Rise up, Dave Strider

Mon, 25 Mar 2013 15:58:00 -0400

spacedrunk:

Rise up, Dave Strider

bangarangstrider: If the guy you look up to is your bro, and that is me in the future, then I can...

Mon, 25 Mar 2013 15:57:00 -0400

bangarangstrider:

If the guy you look up to is your bro, and that is me in the future, then I can dangle so many things over your head that it’s not even funny, man. I’m the fucker who has the possibility of helping you along with your life, so you best back this shit up before I decide I don’t want to help you out and leave you on someone’s doorstep like Dairy Pooter.

yes technically you may be my bro

and its no secret that i do think that you end up being one of the coolest motherfuckers on the planet

but currently youre at such a complete deficit right now man i shouldnt even have to explain this shit

youre caught up in the hormonally imbalanced life of the dreaded phase all living beings go through known as the ‘teenager’ so demanding any kind of respect from me is preposterous

were both stuck in this gray line and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it

by the time you grow into your own adulthood self the present me will already be old enough to go round per bloody round with you without a problem

so in essence you hold nothing over my head other than being the blight of my existence

dont get beside yourself

➲ Dave: Reconnect with Jade.

Mon, 25 Mar 2013 02:38:00 -0400

buck-teeth:

luminous visionaries continued to survey the area as another irritated sigh escaped the witch’s lips, hand shifting to rest upon a black hip. pristine ivory harks swiveled every now and again listening for any familiar or helpful sounds as line of sight cast down once again to absentmindedly catch a look at the apartment. as a familiar scent wafted past canine-powered sniffer, the girl spun on her obnoxiously glittered flats to catch the gaze (or so she thought) of the knight. lips pulled back into a grin as both hands rested delicately upon her hips, a brow quirked to add to the atmosphere.

“Good to see you too, mister cool kid.”

so much had happened since she last caught sight of the blonde music-maker— she met her grandfather… kind of, became a crazy woman, bent on following each order of the batterwitch, and even dated davesprite, to which she would keep a painless little secret. she’s not even sure how she snapped out of the condesce’s control, probably since she was… kidnapped… and thrust into this unfriendly world.

“What brings you ‘round these parts, neighbor??”

in an attempt to be ‘cool,’ she openly mocked his city. good going, bitch witch.

Crimson optics lingered on the beta kid before him. Here stood a young woman far removed from her old self. No longer was she the timid, frail girl he had once known. On the contrary, Jade exuded extreme confidence in not only her abilities, but herself overall. After all, the major changes that occurred with her were not limited to solely her. Future Dave had been in and out of a relationship as well, although the details of that entire ordeal remains quite scarce. However, present Dave had remained pigeon-held within the confounds of Hive City. Though, there wasn’t much more excitement without the help of his old comrades from the infamous beta session. At the end of the day, they both had matured greatly from the young, absent-minded upstarts who threatened to change the coarse of their world for good.

Although he wasn’t the most expressive, Dave thought it was pretty ‘cute’—for lack of a better word—that she was imitating his cool kid disposition. Adjusting his sunglasses, Strider remained quiet before letting loose a small chuckle.

“This is my new apartment, according to the big wig bastards up top. Looks like they’re moving everyone around. Probably readying something catastrophic, but I’m up for the challenge.”

Stepping into his new living space, the blonde male panned around to view his new surroundings. With a suitcase full of his daily threads and his turntables bulging out of his backpack, Dave sat down for a moment on the coke-white couch. Looking up at the ceiling for a few moments in a sleepy stupor, Dave glanced over in Jade’s direction, furrowing an eyebrow before asking in a monotone voice (although he seemed to already know the answer).

“Don’t tell me this is your crib too. It’s so goddamn empty in here. Lifeless and bland like tofu without the seasoning. We’re gonna have to lively this bitch up.”

➲ Dave: Reunite with Terezi.

Mon, 25 Mar 2013 01:43:00 -0400

bl1ndbutnots1ghtl3ss:

Now what was going on?

The troll girl sighed a bit, standing in a crowd reeking mostly of lifelessness and oil. All she knew was that there’d been an explosion. A really loud one!

She had been walking around exploring the area when she heard it. At first she thought the loudness of it caused her to go deaf! Boy would that have sucked! Thankfully though the ringing went away after only a few moments, leaving her just dazed and confused. What led the alien girl to the site of the explosion was the lingering smell of oil and gas. She needed to investigate! That explosion couldn’t have caused itself after all! And Terezi knew better than to think it was caused on accident.

There was a criminal on the loose and this girl wasn’t about to let them continue on their merry way blowing up whatever they pleased!

But before she could bring this criminal to justice, she had to find out who they were….

This was a job for her crack team of experts!

==>

Too bad they weren’t here.

The few members of her crack team that had gotten brought to this city with her were all back in her respiteblock! Oh well, she’d go this one alone.

All she needed to do was figure out how to get around this crowd…

DAVE: Anyone mind sparing me the difficulty of crowd-sourcing info and telling me what the hell is going on here?

Huh?

Despite not even having spent half a sweep together, the girl knew, almost instantly, who that cool voice belonged to.

Greet Dave ==>

TEREZI: H3H3H3H3

You weave your way through the crowd, careful not to be too conspicuous. ~~Though that laugh could probably give you away before anything else would~~.

TEREZI: COM3 ON D4V3

You say, casually stepping into a position right next to the blonde human, acting as if you’d been behind him this entire time. Though, a bit of your giggle remained.

TEREZI: TH3 F1RST TH1NG YOU N33D TO DO WH3N YOU 4R3 TRY1NG TO SOLV3 4 CR1M3 1S 1NT3RROG4TE TH3 W1TN3SS3S
TEREZI: SO OF COURS3 W3 H4V3 TO SCOUR TH3 CROWD FOR 1NFO

Terezi, your attempt at being some sort of magical appearing detective probably failed horribly. Just sayin’.

==>

While your past self was currently caught up with another trollian girl, your future being was locked in some perpetual time warp outside of figuring out the root of the problem at large and being reunited with yet another from his session. First off, apparently the cause of the big commotion was an apparent car crash of sorts - not exactly something uncommon back in your home state of Texas, but suspicious nonetheless. No one seemed to know the cause either as you’ve gathered from their insistent babbling

You stand there for a few moments before you suddenly get inspired to write down some ridiculously SICK FIRES. That is, until you realize that the assholes who run this entire shindig haven’t even had the decency to provide you with a simple pad and paper. Your mind wanders off momentarily to the deepest corridors within your teenage mind, presenting enigmatic blobs representing the various scientists running the city you’re currently stuck in before panning out to you, equipped your BAD ASS SHADES, your CALEDSCRATCH in hand and your usual COOL KID PERSONA, utterly laying each deformed circle of gray matter to waste.

But enough of that shit dude. You know that you shouldn’t be day drifting in the middle of commotion, no matter how awesome you envisioned yourself to be. You have goals beyond this city, but first you need to hull your ass out from this crowd and made strides (pun intended) towards getting out of this shithole first.

As you bob and weave between the people around you, a familiar voice rings out.

TEREZI: H3H3H3H3

Immediately, your body begins to tense and your knees begin to buckle. As much as you would like to see familiar faces around, you’d rather it be under different circumstances. After all, if everyone ends up being transported to the city, then who the hell is playing the game? What catastrophic mindfuck is going on here? This was incomprehensible beyond fathom, like the end of the Sopranos or your bro’s obsession with puppet porn. Shiver.

Through your blackened shades, you look around restlessly until you finally give up. Turning around to finally leave once and for all, you’re thrown off guard by the emergence of your favorite female troll. Of course, it wouldn’t be legitimate if she hadn’t kept you abrupt on your own shortcomings.

TEREZI: TH3 F1RST TH1NG YOU N33D TO DO WH3N YOU 4R3 TRY1NG TO SOLV3 4 CR1M3 1S 1NT3RROG4TE TH3 W1TN3SS3S

TEREZI: SO OF COURS3 W3 H4V3 TO SCOUR TH3 CROWD FOR 1NFO

> Dave: Greet Terezi.

DAVE: holy fucking christ terezi

DAVE: you shouldnt be sneaking up on people like that you nearly caused me to jump right out of my skin

DAVE: how long have you been here

DAVE: have those scientific dbags harmed you in any way

DAVE: because i swear to all that is righteous if they did i will not hesitate to pivot off of the pavement just to spiral down and shove a steel pole so far up their elitist assholes theyll be forced to cough up metal

Aw, aren’t you a good friend? Your protective nature seems to be in tact, although you view it as a gift and a curse. The city hasn’t corrupted your morals and values in the slightest, though that was never your concern. If anything, you were more preoccupied with the thought of dying an old geezer along with the others in this foreign town. Man, you hated this hellhole way more than the shitty time you had in Sburb’s beta session. As you process your current companion’s statement, you retort quickly.

DAVE: why do you feel compelled enough to try and decipher my modus operandi

DAVE: just know that im following my own pace like normal ok…..

DAVE: i really dont need to be taking orders or have another being tagging along who thinks their methods are 20x better than mine

DAVE: after all i was forcibly partnered up with your dickmonger of an ex-boy toy a little while ago

DAVE: come to think of it i havent heard any whiny shouting in the last 10 months so maybe he found a way to manipulate and exploit the system to his benefit and finally got the fuck outta dodge

DAVE: then again he could have just gotten killed

DAVE: i mean he mightve created the world i came from but hes not nearly as smart as he thinks he is

DAVE: lets just stop talking about him altogether

You feel a slight pain in your chest every time you reflect on the temporary partnership between you and Karkat, but that won’t keep you moving forward (even if that’s in the literal sense). Grabbing Terezi’s hand out of nowhere, you slowly make your way towards the heart of the chaos. As much as you hated the fact that she was here, the sense of having someone so close to home gave you more motivation to actually get out of Hive City.

smuppetlove: you know I never joke around about lindsay, dude. took the words right out of my...

Sat, 23 Mar 2013 14:26:35 -0400

smuppetlove:

you know I never joke around about lindsay, dude.

took the words right out of my mouth like a sexy little mama bird feeding her kids a faceful of worm

honestly i dont know what kind of tomfuckery is at work here little bro because there i was in the after life minding my own business strumming a quick little symphony on my arm while chilling and floating in the clouds like so

woah shit is that elvis???? dude your music was shit and you died on the toilet but this is awesome

anyways man next thing I know im zapped here watching television listening to those jokers talk about their little experiment shit is fucking gwen stefani

bananas

and yeah who you telling? it was some real back to the future shit

shit man you met elvis???

please tell me he showed you how to do the jailhouse rock or at least set you up with a set of fresh new moves and a slicked pompadour to make all the ladies swoon

then again kicking the can while crap is en route traveling down your asscrack is a pretty shitty way to die so i dont know how many pointers i would take from someone who met their end stuck in the thinkers position

why couldnt you have met someone like kurt cobain instead and ask him why the hell he decided to marry courtney love

i dont give a flying fuck about his reason for offing himself man to each its own but if there is at least one thing ive always been pining for is an answer to marrying that drunken harlot

im honestly beginning to believe that the people in charge here must be aware of the game we were previously in

ive heard murmurings of people i know from my session being transported here as well

if anything this entire buttfuck of a situation has given me a load of material to write

were gonna go back to texas one day and get rich off of this shit

smuppetlove: nah this ain’t a mirage in the middle of the desert just little ol me and yeah i met...

Mon, 18 Mar 2013 04:11:00 -0400

smuppetlove:

nah this ain’t a mirage in the middle of the desert

just little ol me

and yeah i met that little psuedo me a second ago the dude is alright i guess talk about looking into a fucking mirror though man i felt like lindsay lohan in that parent trap remake

so hot

the fact that youre comparing yourself to lindsay lohan dispels all doubts i might have had that you were indeed bro

what the actual fuck man

talk about a cruxploding mindfuck of intensity thats just threatening to blow my cool kid status back to the trenches of lake minnetonka out of pure emotion because there is no way you should even be standing in front of me right now

after all you technically kicked the proverbial bucket some odd years ago

either these dickmongers have technology thats on the borderline of deity stature or youre literally jesus christ

resurrecting from the dead like its a part of your goddamn profession

i dont know what to say about your younger self other than acknowledging the underlying irony of you two meeting in the flesh though

bangarangstrider: (not that arrogant adolescent alpha prick) shit man im so intimidated by you...

Mon, 18 Mar 2013 03:57:02 -0400

bangarangstrider:

(not that arrogant adolescent alpha prick)

shit man im so intimidated by you right now

i nearly pissed my pants by your perpetual knuckle crackling techniques

oh wise one teach me the ways of your preposterous methods for striking fear in the hearts of all budding pubescent teenagers

ok let me cut the sarcasm

youre not gonna do shit but sit there and take it

its not in your blood bro

brobotical: Sorry man, we just ran out of both bitches and parties. You snooze you lose. why...

Mon, 18 Mar 2013 03:49:22 -0400

brobotical:

Sorry man, we just ran out of both bitches and parties. You snooze you lose.

why would you inform me after the fact

that kind of behavior is erroneously despicable

i should body slam you all across the fucking city

then again that would ironically make me the tool in this situation

besides chances are that party wasnt shit since i didnt bless you all with my presence

smuppetlove: little bro. sup jegus fucking christ wait a goddamn minute are my eyes playing...

Mon, 18 Mar 2013 03:41:00 -0400

smuppetlove:

little bro.

sup

jegus fucking christ

wait a goddamn minute

are my eyes playing tricks on me or have the gods finally decided to get off of their egotistical asses and grant me the real bro

(not that arrogant adolescent alpha prick)