Anonymous: BOXERS OR BRIEFS?
You’re not used to answering messages often, so it should come as no surprise that you would end up getting a few suspect questions. However, that doesn’t stop you from pondering upon the relevancy of each and every notice.
DAVE: are shades an option
DAVE: if not then what would i be receiving in return if i answer this extremely private matter in public
DAVE: would detailing my intimate apparel warrant me a gift or would i just be providing ways for you to continue to fantasize about me
DAVE: you sick fuck
Anonymous: Dare you to touch the juggalo's facepaint
Sorry, but this cool kid doesn’t have time to be bothered with the twisted clown and his egregious bullshit.
1S TH1S 3V3N 4 D4R3?
Probably not! But you don’t even care!
TEREZI: H3Y D4V3
TEREZI: SOM3 GR3Y HORNL3SS F4C3 TOLD M3 TO K1SS YOU
TEREZI: SO ST4Y ST1LL
And so, if he obliges, you carefully find his face with your hands and slowly lean closer. If you could see and if he weren’t wearing shades you can be sure all of the romantic sparks would be flying everywhere just by looking into his cherry filled eyes. Not that you can’t smell his cherry filled eyes, but his shades are even blocking that! hmph
Anyways, you finally bring your lips closer and closer to his—well you think you’re bringing them closer to his for all you know that’s his ear—but right before they make contact, you lick him. Hopefully on the face, preferably not in the ear. And then, of course, you start laughing
TEREZI: H3H3H3H3
TEREZI: YOU R34LLY DO T4ST3 D3L1C1OUS D4V3!!Here have a consolation hug.
> Dave: Stare.
DAVE: yo tz
DAVE: wait they asked you to do what—
DAVE: ………………………..
The sudden gesture throws you off of your fortress of swagger for a few moments as you react by…not reacting at all. Your eyes are literally fixated on the grey, trollian girl in front of you. Through your shades, you make eye contact briefly before being caught off guard by the small dribble of saliva dripping from your lip. At this moment in time, you’re not sure if it’s yours or hers—yet you do not realize that it is literally hanging by a thread. Good going, cool kid!
Still, you keep up your amazing front by literally saying nothing at all. It was more than obvious that you weren’t used to this kind of behavior, no matter how many times you reassured John and Bro that you knew exactly how to handle yourself in situations like these. When put to the test, a stiff, tensed atmosphere overtook you instead. Both shoulders raised as well as the intensity in your eyes (as if she could see them in return).
Yep, you’re a regular Frank Sinatra in his heyday right about now. A true lady-killing aristocrat, with the expensive-ass tailor-made suits and all. As you proceed to wipe your lip with your sleeve, you bumble about in a lowered voice.
DAVE: uhhhh….
DAVE: i…dont really know what else to say but….
DAVE: thanks
DAVE: you… didnt taste all that bad either
…smooth, Mr. Strider. Real smooth.
gardeningnostic: the young witch shuffled close to the knight nonchalantly before taking a deep whiff of the boy's shoulder. "You smell like bacon."
As soon as she sniffed the boy’s shoulder, Dave immediately whipped his head around to see her in action, though there was nothing he could do about it.
“First off - why the hell are you sniffing me and secondly - what in the name of all that is righteous would compel you to say something as stupid as that?”
YOU’VE GOT TO ACT NOW OR THIS ALL GOES TO HELL.
> Be Karkat Vantas.
You don’t have time to waste; you are now Karkat Vantas. You also are dropping all timeline-centric qualifiers for simplicity’s sake.
> Karkat: Get everyone into the goddamn shelter.
You are dragging a large, slippery tarpaulin into the half-open doorway of an abandoned warehouse that shudders in the cold under its heavy plating of corrugated sheets of aluminum. You’d cut your thumb earlier on your apartment key as you scrambled to get in and map out a plan that doesn’t end with everyone turned to great steaming piles of lightning-burnt shit.
Thunder rumbles above you as you finally manage to hoist the material into the building, where you’ve also tossed everything you could carry from your apartment, regardless of whether it was yours or not: pillows, bedsheets, blankets, a disassembled computer, plastic black trash bags, the bottles of water in the apartment’s fridge that you haven’t drunk because they might have been poisoned -
Yeah, whatever, like whatever’s in those can be worse than the acid rain hissing all around you outside like the goddamn Devil’s piss!
You emerge from under the doorway into the street and yell yourself hoarse, calling out to whoever’s in plausible earshot - you can’t see jack through the fog that’s been winding its ways through the cracks between the buildings at alarming speed. The wind blows the hood of your jacket off your head and you can feel your face getting pelted by hard and heavy drops of water.
ANYONE WHO CAN HEAR ME, FOLLOW MY VOICE AND GET INTO THIS GODDAMN WAREHOUSE BUILDING!
WE’VE GOT CLEAN WATER AND BLANKETS AND SOME OTHER USELESS SHIT TO GO WITH THE USEFUL CRAP!!
IF YOU’VE GOT FOOD OR INTEL, YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASSES OVER HERE STAT OR I SWEAR TO GOD YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO BLAME ME WHEN WE ALL FUCKING TAKE LEAPING SWAN DIVES OFF THE PROVERBIAL CLIFF OF LIFE!
You squint through the hazy mist and walls of rain, looking for signs that someone - anyone - has heard you. It makes you wonder if you should start just traipsing through the streets like some sort of rainstorm ghost and picking up random people - after all, you’re not doing all this shit just so you can be some sort of saint and save lives.
No, you’re building up your team. You’re gonna lead these poor fuckheads to the detonator and find your way out of this hellhole if it’s the last thing you do.
> Terezi: Get soaked by nasty smelling rain.
TEREZI: UHH
TEREZI: D4V3You stop walking for a moment and just stand there, the horrible rain never ceasing the continual drenching of you and your companion as sirens start screeching in the distance. Between the obnoxious whirring of said sirens, the loud and strong gusts of wind that never seem to stop and the occasional crash and boom of thunder and lightning that sounds way too close for comfort, you’re not even sure if your friend heard you.
TEREZI: D4V3!!
You try again.
TEREZI: D4V3 1 TH1NK W3 4R3 LOST!!!
Yep. The two of you managed to get completely lost outside during the biggest storm any of you have ever known—save the storms of meteors you both survived multiple times, but those were different.
To be completely fair though, you both had known where you were, before the rain got harder and smog started clouding both his sight and your sense of smell. You both had just been heading over to the edge of Sector oo4 to try and cover up your work-in-progress chalk masterpiece to protect it from the rain! Neither of you knew the storm would be this bad, and at this point you’d have to cut out the entire sidewalk and bring it inside to save your poor drawing! Not that that is even relevant anymore. You’re quite sure that both of you agree that the more important matter at hand is getting out of this rain and figuring out the extent of the situation.
Besides the sirens, you can hear bits and pieces of an announcement, and someone else whose yelling, but you can’t make out what either says at all. Hell, you can only tell they’re different people because of the different tones of their voice; one sounded calm, but magnified by speakers, the other just really loud and angry—
wait.
It couldn’t be.
> Terezi: smirk and grab Dave’s arm
TEREZI: DO YOU H34R TH4T 4NGRY P3RSON SHOUT1NG??
> Dave: Linger off somewhere.
DAVE: bloody fucking hell
DAVE: do you hear that noise in the distance
DAVE: ……………….
DAVE: terezi?
Finding somewhere that suited your fancy on this mini-adventure with Terezi, it takes you a few moments to realize that you had completely separated from your partner in the midst of a totally menacing, totally asian storm. Yes, you had fully grasped the concept of weather and the unpredictability that mother nature possessed, but never did you actually envision yourself to be a part of anything remotely like the scene laid out before you. Fog clouded your vision with far more potency than your signature shades and the rain—ACIDIC RAIN, nonetheless—began to pour with malicious intent. Whatever was brewing, the idea was clear as day: time to get the fuck out of there.
You hesitate for a moment, listening out with both ears in tune to the ravenous winds, trying to catch anything that remotely sounds as though it beckoned out your name. You fail at hearing anything along those lines.
Using your nifty CELL PHONE, your decide that now would probably be a good time to mass text anyone you knew who’s luck was as unfortunate as you and your trollian girlfri—I mean, buddy. A few names immediately came to mind—MEENAH PEIXES, who literally appeared and disappeared without a trace, KARKAT VANTAS who—despite being a perennial asshole, had partnered with you in the past and last but not least, JADE HARLEY, another who had reunited with you quite some time ago.
Running with a speed that could rival Speedy Gonzalez in his heyday, you type nonsensical nothingness in an effort to best convey your current situation.
TG: attention to all i repeat attention to all
TG: were currently in the middle of a codename 405 ‘get the fuck out of dodge’ storm
TG: if you are currently in hive city then chances are you probably are spazzing the hell out and panicking in a perpetual state of fear and anxiety
TG: i dont blame you
…and with that, you cease sending any more decipherable text messages without stating just where in the world you’re at. Good going, Mr. Strider! Aside from the obviously dull moment stated above, you finally hear a familiar voice. Listening intently, you realize that it’s calling out to you.
TEREZI: D4V3!!
TEREZI: D4V3 1 TH1NK W3 4R3 LOST!!!
Before you know it, you’re grabbed by the arm as yet another recognizable sound called out in your general area, except this sound was decidedly unpleasant and hoarse in it’s screech. Neanderthal-ish in attitude and egotistical in tone, you knew exactly who the hell it was within the first few moments. Turning to Terezi slowly, she poses quite the obvious question.
TEREZI: DO YOU H34R TH4T 4NGRY P3RSON SHOUT1NG??
You ball up your fists dramatically as the foul-stenched rain continues to pound upon the both of you like a pair of congas. Adjusting your bad-ass glasses, your red eyes lock in with your partnered troll before beginning to walk with her in the direction of the noise.
DAVE: oh yeah
DAVE: i dont have to guess what the source of that unholy racket is any longer
DAVE: lets go catch up
> Dave: Stride.
Besides the obvious pun detailed in the title, you and your partner make like the wind in the noise’s direction. Before long, you all had found yourself in a different sector altogether—Sector 3, to be exact. As you scout out the area for an instant, a silhouetted male stood in the fog. Hailstorm brought in an insatiable, unbearable chill that propelled the both of you toward the building behind the shadow against your better judgment, which seemed to be open for anyone trying to avoid the storm. Taking a few steps forward, you realize that the shadowed being is who you expected all along. Gray skin, shark-like teeth, frizzed hair and that signature stand-offish persona in tact, it was no doubt that the cretin before you was none other than Karkat Vantas.
Without further hesitation, you break from Terezi to toss a blow to the Troll’s stomach. A dissatisfied expression forms across your face as you comment haphazardly, shaking your fist from whatever the impact might have been.
DAVE: thats for not keeping in contact after the zombie scenario
DAVE: dickwad
